Creating Windows Into Dimensional Healing with Haileylujah Radhe
SO & SO CHAT SESH
Following a pretty regular ‘bumping into of one another’ at our favorite cacao spot, Haileylujah and I moseyed down the road to sit in the shade and continue to enjoy each others company. Having shared space in many healing circles, including attending a number of Ayahuasca ceremonies together, it’s always been very apparent that Haileylujah, much like myself, is truly committed to understanding the importance of feeling empowered through all of our experiences, including the painful ones. We are always learning to view the experience of suffering as totally essential for knowing that we are so capable of transmuting our darkness into light — contributing to the perpetual healing of the collective consciousness. Haileylujah has had multiple experiences with debilitating physical injuries including a particularly severe and traumatic brain injury and I finally felt compelled to ask her to share some of her story. Here is some of the gold from our conversation:
Haileylelujah: I went and I had Ayahuasca and that really helped more than anything else. After than, since then, I’ve seen that there are medical doctors in Europe that are doing studies on how Ayahuasca can heal people who have had multiple brain injuries. Because it’s different when you have several on top of one another, which I have had because I had other head injuries before that happened. This is just the most severe, but I had multiple head injuries before that happened and then I had one after which was very scary because they told me because of the severity of this, if you hit your head again, it can be really… compounding.
So, a year ago February, I fell here and one of the things that happened was I hit my head. It was crazy what happened after that — because I had multiple injuries from that, I was in this self-induced coma state. (()) So, basically I would sleep all day, wake up in the afternoon, eat fruit and walk. I would just eat fruit and walk and walk and walk and walk all over the city. Come back, go back to sleep, wake up in the night, drink water, eat fruit. Wake up in the morning, walk and that’s it — for months. For months, I slept probably 20 hours a day.
Imogen: Wow. Wow. That’s your body just needing to reset.
Haileylelujah: It was like a coma, with breaks.
Imogen: Wow. What were your dreams like?
Haileylelujah: I don’t know.
Imogen: Probably so crazy.
Haileylelujah: No, probably not at all.
Imogen: Needing rest in both realms probably.
Haileylelujah: The dream realm is like when you’re rested and you’re healed and you can go into that exploration.
Imogen: Crazy, this is making me think about the fact that you had multiple experiences with this brain injury stuff, too. It’s making me think of how I also notice the lessons that come through on repeat for me in my life and there’s all these repeating patterns that not everyone can pinpoint. They might be like, “Whoa is me, this keeps happening.” But if you really can pinpoint [Haileylelujah: No, I dug deep..] and it’s so amazing.
Haileylelujah: I dug deep to find the energetic sources of this.
Imogen: It’s amazing to dive in. The fact that you noticed that too.
Haileylelujah: I really did and I already had realized it before I had this last fall.
Imogen: You knew it was a pattern.
Haileylelujah: Because I realized it - I was very angry at myself for letting it happen.
Imogen: Of course.
Haileylelujah: Manifesting it.
Imogen: That’s part of it too.
Haileylelujah: And then Pamela (((((( Description here )))))) was like. You need to forgive yourself. That was a big part of it that I didn’t realize. I had many different severe injuries throughout my life and each one happened after I had an emotional injury with a man that I suppressed, that I did not meet. I did not hold him accountable. And also, telling you this, I have come to a point I can talk about this, but I won’t often because telling the story - being inside the energy of it — it generates in the present moment. Let me talk to God about my pain, let me talk to my yoga mat about my pain, let me work inside of my internal body. Because what I want to project outwards with my speech, is how do I want to create this outward reality?
IS: “It’s the ‘who am I right now?’
Haileylelujah: I definitely feel like I had been in this perpetual state of pain and injury and repeating the same patterns with men, my father, my grandfather, my partners.
Imogen: It’s reminding me of my own hesitation with writing my story especially now that I dove into the stories we tell and what reality that creates for our current moment. I kinda like the idea of diving back into stories I’ve re-told. A lot of my concepts with writing my stuff and journalling now is re-writing my story.
Haileylelujah: So the difference between me sharing this story now, is the intention. So, the intention is not to say, I am in so much suffering, I’m in so much pain. Meet me inside that pain and suffering. That is what perpetuates suffering. But the intention is let me create a window for another person to see a pathway of healing. Do we just be the example? Yes, we speak the truth. I am human, I have had fucked up experiences and I found a pathway to create a better life for myself by conscious awareness and attention and healing. Going into the aspect, on a deeper standpoint, going into the spaces as a young child, I suffered physical injury and pain. What happened in those moments? Not just witnessing them, but holding that piece of myself, that child self and giving her love and giving forgiveness.
(((((( Dialogue here ))))))
AUDIO TIMESTAMP 28:14
Haileylelujah: Forgive myself for what happened long ago. People can say that when something happens over and over again it’s your karma from a past life. And, I mean, the truth is like — whatever you believe to be true is true. But, I don’t believe in past. I believe everything is happening concurrently and we can choose… [Imogen: …our story] We can choose not to be attached to things that are happening outside of this incarnation. So you choose how much you wanna be [Imogen: …how much energy we’re putting into it.] Like, how much do you want to be guilty for something that another version of you did inside another dimension?
Imogen: Yeah, how are we processing this current reality with the things we’ve experienced?
Haileylelujah: Right, so also, can you claim sovereignty from the guilt that was generated through your ancestral line?
Imogen: Oof.
Haileylelujah: Can you forgive yourself to such a depth that you also create a field of forgiveness that heals the ancestral line so it’s not coming through? There are so many different layers.
Imogen: Yeah man, so many. And it’s all about looking inward - all of it - I feel like so much of it in my journey to Mexico even, was me going, “ I’m gunna love myself up the way I love all of y’all,” you know? And I’m still on that journey. It feels like I’m learning over and over. It’s all about the inward motion of that energy that will just then illuminate. But speaking to you having this injury on multiple occasions and then me, I can pinpoint certain traumatic experiences that I feel are on repeat — these patterns.
(((((( Dialogue here )))))))
Haileylelujah: Whatever pathway you need to take to claim *your frequency* and declare your body as healed and sovereign. Declare yourself as a creator of this reality and take responsibility for how you care for your physical vessel. Whatever you need to do to do that, it’s powerful. So, you can do magic spells on yourself, you can do prayer - it works - you know? You can do acupuncture you can do ayahuasca, whatever. Whatever is going to get into the space where you are able to make such a powerful declaration from your conscious mind that it changes the subconscious mind.
AUDIO TIMESTAMP 33:50
Imogen: Yes. We have so much power
Haileylelujah: Yeah, the knowing. If I could impart anything from this conversation, it’s the knowing that the human has the capacity to heal everything.
Imogen: Amen.